Laura Hickli – the fool
Today, Laura Hickli presents the first single off her upcoming album, out October 16th. “the fool”, one of the most powerful tracks from stranger to myself, explores PTSD, grief, and isolation following her recovery from a major vehicle accident. Built on cinematic swells and anchored by Laura’s striking operatic vocals, the track fully embodies her emotionally raw, atmospheric songwriting.
“the fool” carries the listener through coiling bridges and mounting tension, evoking the feeling of being trapped in relentless waves of thought and emotion. There’s a sense of beautiful misery throughout, devastating yet captivating, like a modern day Greek tragedy. Even in its darkest moments, the song remains mesmerizing, balancing chaos and elegance while Laura’s vulnerability transforms personal anguish into something deeply universal.
The accompanying music video captures this atmosphere of rumination and instability, mirroring the song’s emotional unease while maintaining intimacy. The result feels deeply personal, as though the viewer is witnessing a secret being shared for the very first time.
“‘the fool’ is my cathartic and anthemic declaration of desire to re-enter my life after a painful year of relentless fear and PTSD held me back from chasing my dreams as a musician. ‘the fool’ is the moment a person yells wildly into the wide open sky; “I am ready! What do I have to do?”
I craved the memories of the woman unshackled by terror, unaware of death and suffering, whose dreams fueled a fearless charge into the unknown. Had I lost that part of me forever? Looking back now, I see ‘the fool’ as one of the first steps I took into accepting my loss, and my first attempt at opening my heart’s door to possibility amidst suffering.
“The world just kept spinning. We hit the ground again—I thought I had died. Everything went black for a second. And then, suddenly, the van stopped. The g-forces vanished, but inside me, the spinning didn’t. My body was still. But inside, I kept tumbling.”
That’s Laura Hickli, describing the car accident that changed her life and nearly shattered her relationship with music. stranger to myself, Hickli’s full-length debut moves through her journey from fracture to revival.
“What’s the point of being alive when it can all be taken away so quickly?”
Hickli’s unfiltered recollections are shaped by fear, shock, and survivor’s guilt. They appear in stranger to myself’s darkest passages, grounding the album in raw, unguarded vulnerability.
During a 2023 U.S. tour, Hickli’s van skidded on ice and flew off the road, spun 180 degrees into oncoming traffic, careening backwards off the highway and rolling three times down a 50 foot hill. As it tumbled down the hillside, Hickli felt everything slow down, watching her belongings rise around her, suspended in eerie stillness, time stretching the space between life and death. It was just 24 seconds, and although there were no severe injuries, Hickli was painfully affected. In the months that followed, writing music unpacked what her body had survived yet her mind could not accept.
stranger to myself is a sonic journey towards healing. Music holds immense power for Hickli; it’s how she processes, how she connects, how she survives. Across the album, she confronts grief, fear, and dissociation on her path to acceptance and growth. Two emotional currents run throughout: songs rooted in loss and anguish, and others cautiously imagining a future beyond survival. These contrasting tones live side by side creating an unsettled emotional world that reflects trauma and recovery. Through this darkness and despair, light emerges.
On “call it off,” Hickli repeats, “Wish things stayed the same / I wish things never changed,” regretting having ever left home instead of staying “under the covers.” Her lyrics pair with swelling, uplifting musical arrangements, a tension that captures the strange coexistence of sorrow and hope. stranger to myself continually pushes and pulls, capturing the complexities of pain and resilience.
On “wake up”, Hickli’s sounds lighter and more expansive. Her lyrics still acknowledge struggle, while the melody is gently optimistic. These moments form the album’s foundation; growth comes not from erasing trauma, but from acknowledging it without letting it rule.
stranger to myself is an emotionally turbulent experience; a meditative reflection in limbo, only to culminate in a climax of sound. Harsh, raw instrumentation reverberates throughout, intensity dispelling the tranquility of seconds prior. The songs that emerged aren’t pretty, polished reflections, they’re unsettling and painfully human. Recovery has no clear finish, but creation has given her connection, and now Hickli feels less alone.
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